Adulting and Alarm Clocks

Yep

So here’s the thing!

I’m 22. I'm a grown man. I have a beard. I can make my own eggs, but I don't because I'm allergic to them, and peanuts, and tree nuts, and dander, and other stuff I need an EpiPen for sometimes. I’m technically an adult.

But somehow, my mom still thinks I need to wake up at 6:30 a.m. every day. Even if I don’t have anything to do. Even if the sun is still warming up. Even if the birds aren't even singing yet. Read the dictionary, read a book, do this, do that. I love my mom, but she gets on my nerves.

Her logic? “It helps your body get into a rhythm.” My logic? “So does sleeping until 7.”

This is how I see it, and I'm good with that, to be honest, so I think I might have to explain.

I am a literal thinker. I don’t do vague. I don't do it because it doesn't make sense. I like knowing what is happening, so I guess you can say I need things clear for me, because I do understand things even though sometimes people think I don't, especially if they know I have Autism, which sucks by the way when people underestimate me. But that is their problem, not mine, that's how I see it. So when my mom says, “Wake up early, it’s part of your adult routine,” my brain immediately goes: "Define early.” “What routine?” “On days I’m not doing anything, what am I waking up for?” She says I'm difficult, what do you think?

That’s when she hits me with the adulting ingredient list. You know, the things no one really warns you about.

• Make your bed.

• Stretch.

• Breathe.

• Do something productive.

• Shower, even if you’re not going anywhere (this one confuses me still).

• Don’t forget to moisturize your elbows.

• Eat breakfast. A real one. Not chips.

• Hydrate. Not with soda.

  
  

  She's not a dog, she's my mom, but she does kind of bark orders a little bit. Maybe it's more like being on a SWAT team or in the military. I'm going to write a blog entry on my website about how she does training and drills with me, like mom when is the world ending again? I swear she tries to make sure she teaches me everything, but I can take care of myself. I better not say that to her too much, because then she starts with her long list of all the things that I didn't think of that are a part of this whole adulting thing, that kinda give me a little headache.

  
  

It’s a lot. Like a recipe with too many steps and no clear end dish. And I’m still trying to figure out if I’m making lasagna or a smoothie, or nachos or a burrito. I like burritos with microgreens on them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I want to be an adult. I want to take care of myself, build my own life, and maybe one day have a nice apartment with LED lights, a weight set, a clean kitchen, and snacks that don’t mysteriously disappear.

But I also want negotiation privileges. Like, if I don’t have work, school, therapy, or anything on the schedule, can’t a guy sleep in until 7? Or maybe 7:15 if he brushed his teeth the night before?

Mom says consistency builds discipline. I say sleep builds happiness. We are both right. She is always Mom right. But I’m grown-up figuring-it-out right.

So here’s the deal I’m proposing:

• Weekdays? I’m up by 6:30. Cool.

• Saturdays? I get until 7. Maybe 7:20 if it’s cloudy.

• Sundays? TBD.

  
  

  That’s between me and God, because I go to church at 12, but I have two martial arts classes I do on Sundays too before church. I'm thinking about quitting them because I'm making my suits, and I like to work on my projects at 9:15 to 11:15 on the weekends, so I don't know what to do about that. Maybe I shouldn't say I'm quitting, but maybe I can put it another way. It's my own decision what I want to do, my mom always tells me that, and when I talk to my dad, he always tells me the best thing you can do is pay attention and learn so you can make good decisions for your life.

  
  

I’m learning. I really am needing to learn a lot of stuff, so I have to pay more attention and not get distracted because I like playing my PS5, especially after I eat dinner. Some days I get it right. Some days I sleep through the alarm and pretend I didn't. But I always come back to the truth: I want to show up for my life. Even if I’m yawning while I do it.

Because being an adult means having responsibilities, yes... But it also means being able to say: “Hey, I need 30 more minutes.” And knowing that doesn’t make you lazy. It just makes you human. I do know I am a real human being, but my secret that I kept to myself was that I wanted to be Spiderman for a long time and used to make suits to dress like him when I was younger, but my mom taught me that I was a superhero already and just needed to wear myself. I do still like Spiderman, I just keep him when he needs to be and not trying to take him out in the real world in everyday life because it doesn't make sense. Well, not anymore, especially after my 21st birthday, which was over 1 year ago. Is it possible to ramble while you write on a blog on your own website? Thinking about that.

Or in my case... Human with a dash of Spectrum, a lot of thoughts, and a deep love for understanding the world in my own way.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an alarm to set, for 6:30. (But I’m still going to stare at it like it’s the enemy.)

Micaiah