I’m Staying on Top of Things… Mostly

Drumroll, please… I’m Actually Keeping Up with My Checklist (Kind Of)

I've got big news: I’m finally keeping up with my checklist. Insert dramatic pause, trumpet fanfare, and confetti made of sticky notes. Yep, that checklist that used to look like a forgotten museum exhibit of “Stuff I Meant to Do But Didn’t.” Now, it’s starting to look like something I wouldn’t mind showing to another human. You know, assuming I felt like talking to one that day. I asked the artificial intelligence officer ot helpw me with this part because I couldn't draw it in the blog! Boxes are getting checked, slowly and cautiously, but I do occasionally talk to myself like a mad scientist. But checked, nonetheless.

Now, I know what you might be thinking because I might know how to read minds, but I'm still not too sure about that.

“Micaiah, that just sounds like being a functional adult.” Ok it's fair but also not really, because being Autistic has it's own operating set up. I process thingsa a little differently, like if someone says “just do it real quick,” my brain immediately sets itself on fire.

Quick what does that even mean really? I would fee like it's pressure but now I don't feel like that too much.

If I want to do something, my brain has to:

• Visualize it

• Understand the purpose of me doing it

• Sort it into a mental drawer

• Compare it to other tasks I have done before

• Debate the pros and cons of now vs later

• Possibly schedule a full internal board meeting haha

• Then maybe I'll feel better about doing the thing

Basically, my executive function likes to take the scenic route.

But here’s the plot twist: I’ve been actively working on it, and with the “gentle encouragement” (read: borderline professional-level nagging) of my mom.

When I was growing up I started thinking that my mom was a secret military strategist LOL! She goes by many titles for me, but I guess she has to so I can learn the things that I need to learn to get better at this life thing. All of which is a crock and so uncomfortable sometimes.

Her favorite phrases include:

• “Did you update your blog this week?”

• “What’s on your checklist today?”

• “Micaiah, drafts don’t count unless you hit publish.”(She says that one a lot.)

At first, I used to pretend I didn’t hear her. (She never falls for that.) Then I’d say, “It’s written! It’s just… in the drafts.”And she’d hit me with: “Drafts don’t count unless they go live.”

Touché, mother. Touché. I'm learning French and Spanish so I'll use my favorite words sometims because I think it is most likely going to be two of the most spoken languages in the world in the next 5 years.

I’ll admit it: I have about 15 unfinished blogs ts sitting in the drafts folder like they’re on an all-inclusive vacation, waiting to be invited to the real world. Some of them are funny (to me, at least which is a win, because sometimes I feel like my humor exists on a different radio frequency). Some are deep blogs and some are borderline challenging ones that have some rant built in about things that make no sense to me, and people who don’t return shopping carts. (Yes, that’s a thing. No, I will not be taking questions.) But for a long time, I didn’t publish any of them because I wanted them to be perfect. I have heard most of my life that being perfect should never be the goal but being intentional or doing my best should be. I guess I'm getting it now and I can stop aging myself fast, because I used to get worried a lot about not doing things perfect all the time.

Then I realized: I’d rather be consistent than perfect.

So I'm back in the saddle again and I chose to hit publish, on this one at least and it felt good. Not like “I-just-ate-a-perfect-burrito” good, but close. I used to like burritos from Chipotle but when I had to start buying more of my own stuff and get a budget, I learned that it was probably better to buy the makings for a burrito and just make it myself.

Here’s what’s currently on my weekly checklist:

✅ Update the blog ✅ Send replies and emails and maybe respond to a few text messages which is something I need to work on✅ Check in with my mom before she has to ask three times

(Okay, that last one is more like a huge ✅, but we’re not aiming for perfection, remember?)

Still working on other things but I didn't think it made much sense to add all of them. I get it now that I will be working on things for myself forever, but that's a good thing, I guess. So I will say that right now I feel like I'm making good moves in my life that the future Micaiah will be proud of.

Now that I’m (mostly) keeping up with the basics, I’m thinking of adding a couple new things to the list. Not a full plate, but more like a sampler platter or an appetizer. Maybe one of those little dessert spoons.

Here’s what I’m adding:

• One short creative writing or script idea each week

• Working on suit designs or the hero suits while listening to jazz (yes, this counts mindfulness is a vibe)

I’m not trying to overwhelm myself. I’m just testing the waters, seeing how far I can stretch and how good I can get with things. I think that every time I push myself and every time I do, I realize I’m capable of more than I thought.

So yeah, I’m making progress and I’m finally hitting publish and checking boxes. I’m returning the shopping carts to where they belong because it doesnt make sense to leave them all over the place.

I'm still a work in progress, but then again, aren’t we all?

Micaiah